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"Miracles are natural signs of forgiveness. Through miracles you accept God's forgiveness by extending it to others."


Choose to Forgive Yourself.  I did, I makes it makes me feel better about me.  

I read a book by Dr. Phil called "Self Matters".  This books suggests that you think about your past and try to figure out if you are unconsciously being held back by memories and beliefs that may or may not be "true".

If they are true or valid mistakes that I was sorry about, Dr. Phil pointed out that God and the rest of the world doesn't require me to carry this regret to my grave...I am allowed forgiveness.

It was very helpful for me to re-look over these "stories" from my past to find regrets and beliefs that no longer served me.

For instance, when I was very young...maybe like 5  or 7 years old...my mother caught me playing with a neighbor girl with my pants down...cute huh?

We would take down our pants and kiss....because the older kids thought that was funny or something....they also told us to "finish it"...of course me and the little girl had no clue what they were talking about.

When my mom asked me what we were doing...I'm not sure what I said, but I felt like I lied to her.

Then my big brother used this "lie" to bribe me into doing things I didn't want to do (which I probably wanted to do anyway!).  

Anyway, he would tell me things like:

"If you don't do this, I will tell mom:  "Finish it!  Finish it!"

My response was:  "NOOOOOOOO!"

That is a silly little childhood story, but I had to acknowledge that "Finish it!"  "NO!" response...because it had taken a seat in my subconscious mind somewhere and was making me believe that I could not finish anything.

Remember, that I believe that "I am" only one thing:

I am a focal point of eternal consciousness that remains unchanged forever.

Everything else other than what I am are things I have:

I have a past, I am not my past.

      These labels are NOT me:

• White
• Male
• Retired Air Force Master Sergeant
• IT Guy
• Husband

They are not me.  These are a set of labels that I have attached to my identity on earth in this life.  This set of labels helps me get work and have a stable home life.  

I have some other labels that I could choose to see me myself as that would be less helpful:

• Lover of Beer
• Loud at Parties
• Tobacco user
• Coffee Drinker

Again, this list of labels are not what I am...but parts of my earth identity that I will have to carry around while I am on earth.  I did not list any really bad labels...I admit I am leaving the worst of my past off of the list.

I could list some labels I don't have and it would be the same...

• Felon
• Sex Offender
• Rapist
• Thief
• Whore

Again, if these labels apply to your past...they are NOT you...they are merely parts of your "earth identity" that you have to live with while you are on earth.

There are other labels that might make one think one is a victim in this world, labels such as:

• Abused Child
• Rape Victim
• Child of Alcoholics
• Poor
• Gang Member
• Addict
• Sick person

To me, the role that I play on earth is not who I am.  

I am a focal point of eternal consciousness that remains unchanged forever.

Here are some helpful labels that I apply to myself.  These help me forgive myself:

• Sinless
• Forgiven
• Eternal
• Unlimited by Space/Time
• Loving
• Kind
• Generous
• Ever-expanding
• Creative

Although my earth identity will be with me until my earth body dies, I can choose to not let it define who I am.  Some of the labels I let go of completely...I can add new ones that I like better.

There are consequences in earthly life.  If you are have the label of "felon", you will be much more challenged than someone who does not carry that label...but that doesn't mean you still can't find inner peace, earthly forgiveness from yourself and others.

There are countless examples of people that were in jail for a long time and forgiven and went on to great success:

• Rob Lowe had sex with a minor.  Then he made more movies.  
• President Clinton lied to the American People.  He was still in office.
• Tim Allen was in jail and now makes children's movies.
• Mel Gibson spouted racial slurs, and then made more millions.
• Robert Downy Jr. won an Academy award, went to prison for drug use, and now stars in "Ironman"

Now, you might say, yeah but, those people were famous...to wit...ok then you will just have to become famous to get forgiveness (just kidding).

If you can manage to forgive yourself first, you will be on the road to putting together a life that will let you be at peace with your earthly labels.  Perhaps you can add some new labels that you like better.

Learning to forgive myself boiled down to a few fundamental questions:

Forgive yourself:  Did I choose to be?

Or in other words, did I choose to exist at all in any form?  For now, it seems to me, that I didn't choose to exist, I just exist.  Participation in existence is mandatory (for all that exist).  If you do not exist, then you are exempt.  :-)

Because I exist and it seems it is not possible for me to un-exist, I might as well learn to forgive myself.

Forgive yourself:  Did I choose to be born?

Yes, I choose to believe that I at some point, I choose to be born. Furthermore, I believe that there was some goal to my current earth- dream-life that included drinking beer and helping people learn to be happy.

I think that when I was a child, I chose to think the opposite, that my parents had inflicted me with "earth" and I would get back at them.

Now, because I believe that I chose this life and everything that happens to me for my own reasons...I accept 100% responsibility for everything that comes into my life...good and bad.  Everything is part of the "Earth lesson plan" that I wrote with God before I was born.

What we are taught is sin is actually an error, that merely requires correction.

Forgive yourself:  What about free will?

Free will is why I am able to make errors.  Although the broad strokes of my life were written down before I was born, the day-to-day details are the choices left to me.

The plan contains goals and big events, but I still have choices to make in the NOW that will determine what happens to me on earth.

I find it an essential part of forgiving myself that I freely wanted to come to earth.  I have no one else to blame for my earthly experience outside of myself.

Forgive yourself:  Am I a victim?:

Victim is a label that describes a role in the stories of earth.  I choose to reject this label, because I would only be saying that I chose to be a victim to myself...why would I want to be a victim?

Since I choose to believe that I created (and continue to create) the story of my life, if I ever feel "someone else" is making me a victim...I eventually remember that it was part of my plan on earth...

...that "someone else" was just doing his/her part in my dream to help teach me something that I want to learn.

If you carry the "victim" label, I don't mean to belittle anything that you suffered.  But I offer that you can choose to blame your attacker and let that BE part of you, or you can forgive your attacker and stop playing the role of victim.

You may not be responsible for the attack on you, but you are responsible for how you live with and respond to that attack.

Forgive yourself:  Is it ok for me to Forgive myself?

Yes, it is ok for me to forgive myself.  Getting over my past is an ongoing effort.  I am much improved from years past, but I still have work to do.

I have learned to forgive myself.  "A Course in Miracles" suggests that once I realize that nothing on earth affects reality or GOD or what "I am" in anyway...forgiveness of oneself becomes a matter of letting go of your past.  

This web site most likely will not help you learn to forgive yourself and others all alone...I am just letting you know that you can do it...that there is help out there and I am just pointing the way.

You can choose to be the person that shows up in your life and says:  "I forgive you...I love you."   You can choose to forgive yourself.