Ego Concept
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The Ego
is the part of you
that wants to be unique.
"...The part of
ourselves that feels separate from everything else. It is the
part of ourselves that struggles and fears. Ego is not
necessarily something bad, nor does it refer only to the aggressive,
conceited part of ourselves. Ego is that part of the self
that wants to be unique, unchanging, solid. Ego Struggles
against the reality in an attempt to preserve itself. It is
so afraid of looking at the vast, mysterious, untamed, eternal universe
that it tries like hell to convince itself and everyone else that it is
in control..."
-- From the
"Seeker's Guide" by Elizabeth Lesser
I remember feeling my ego become very concerned at some new ideas that
I was trying to integrate.
The truth that I learned is that
I
am not my past or the story of me.
What?!?! What am I then?
My past and the
story of
me seemed like it was me. So my ego resisted very
strongly at letting this idea change. The good news here is
that when I did manage to let the complete identification with my story
go, the truth turned out to be much better...why you might ask?
The truth is better because, now I don't identify myself with a
story...I can still use and access my past experience, knowledge, information...
...but those things don't define me, or limit me in anyway...those
things are more like a tool that I have...but
not WHAT I AM.
The truth is better because, this story will be over when I die
anyway...I might as well get a jump on the truth and accept that my
story was never me anyway...the part of me that goes on (consciousness)
may or may not want to keep any of that story anyway.
This was tough...when I thought of death and "after death" in the past,
I used to think, as long as I am still "right here behind by eyes" then
I am the same...
...it scared me to think that the story of "
wonderful ME" would
be over...but I would still have a point of view and at least a sense
of being...knowing that "I am" in some form (or lacking any form at all
sometimes) forever...that turns out to be better than what the ego
offers...
Facing the unknown truth is wonderful in so many ways...one of the
first steps and probably one of the most difficult was accepting that I
am not my story.
Probably one of my most beneficial, and perhaps painful realizations
was that I AM NOT my life story...
...in our culture today, we are pretty much convinced that we are our
life story...our accumulated experiences and memories make up
everything that we are...
...I guess this is why "death" seems so scaring...I don't fear death
any more...because I have come to realize that I am not that story...
...I like to think of myself primarily as consciousness...a focal point
of consciousness peering through my pinhole view from the un-manifest
realm into this world of form...for a little while...then I will turn
my gaze elsewhere...
...my true identity is without form...and eternal...it is also sinless,
and perfect without needs, or improvement...
Sure while I am on earth, in a body, I have needs, wants and desires,
but these are temporary...nothing to get really worked up about.
Trust me, it was not easy for me to let go of the idea that I WAS my
story and my past...but once I was able to realize that my
consciousness still would be...forever....then my past, and my
sometimes sad story (sometimes happy too)...was just that...a story....
...a story told to me by me about me...the wonderfully sad, happy,
quirky, unique and oh so very special ME...
...So, now I know that I AM consciousness...eternal...outside
time/space...completely without need...not a story about a boy that was
born in Michigan and helped his friend Scott with his paper route when
it was about 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit.
The Ego Concept: A necessary part of evolution
The ego is not bad or good...it just is...and because it is, we must
have needed it to get us here...or it's all just a mistake...whichever
you choose to believe...the fact is if you are being human...you have
an ego.
I have an ego...my ego is just like your ego. My ego is very
sneaky and pretends he's special and spiritual and WAY more conscious
and aware than most people he meets...and doesn't that just make
him....UNIQUE!?!?
My ego also likes to be different and blaze my own trail
sometimes...nothing wrong with that...
My ego loves to make people laugh and be the center of attention and
gets jealous when it has to share the spot light with someone that
might be more entertaining.
My point is, is everyone has an ego while being human...you need to
practice some sort of awareness technique every day of your life just
to stay on the path and to stay awake enough not to get sucked back
into the dream...but we all do fall back to sleep...that's why you hear
the best teachers repeating to students "stay awake!"...
...because those teachers know that they still fall asleep...so they
have built a system to remind them to wake up several times each
day...through meditation, breathing, mindful awareness, exercise, reading...whatever
works!!!
So, don't feel like you need to destroy your ego (or anything)...you can
learn to accept your ego...warts and all...and use it to help you teach
others.
The Ego Concept: "The you" you think you are
Another way to think of the ego is the "YOU" that "you THINK you are".
People that are completely identified with form most of the time are
operating at a highly unconscious state. For all practical
purposes those people think they ARE their egos, and so they pretty
much are (even though the truth of them remains the same as you and
me...it is hidden under so much "stuff", the true self rarely sees the
light of day).
We all go through this period, and I am no exception. I have
had several major awakenings, only to go back to sleep for years...and
then wake up again...
...Part of my practice is to say "the truth is still true"...I don't
really know the truth...but I know that the
real me is true...it
is eternal and it does not change...no matter what...
...so regardless of how crappy any moment may be...I can take a deep
breath and remind myself that
"The
truth is still true"...and that helps to chill me out and
wake me up.
The Ego Concept: The Voice in your Head
This is one of Eckhart Tolle's favorite expressions...are you the voice
in your head? No that is most likely your ego...your true
self is the listener, the stillness in which the voice speaks...
...most seekers of the truth come to realize that the voice in their
head talks to much and really just gets in the way of helping you wake
up...
...it is a lot like the constant drone of television or the radio...non
stop HITS!
Almost all spiritual practice begins with learning to reduce the number
of thoughts that you have during the any given moment and throughout
the day...
...the idea being that the truth is quiet, silent and still and very
much alive and trying to live a fulfilled life through you...most of
your thoughts are getting in the way...
Each seeker has to create their own method of quieting the voice in
your head...the ego won't like this...but trust me, the truth is WAY
better.
The Ego Concept: Unconsciousness
The most basic definition of the ego is when you are unconscious,
your ego is operating...this is not necessary a bad, or undesirable
occurrence...
...when you get really good at thing, you can do perform that activity
"unconsciously"...
...problems arise, when we take our skills that have been tuned to the
"unconscious competent" level for granted and start becoming
unconscious of the miracle of life around us.
Driving for me falls in to a potential pitfall of totally unconscious
behavior sometimes...diligence is required sometimes to relax into the
moment and accept a traffic jam...or to be conscious enough to drive
and avoid all the hazards that the situation calls for.
There are plenty of times, when you can get totally focused on an
activity and be unconscious of your environment around you...I
sometimes get into this "flow" state when I write, and time just seems
to slip away...there is nothing wrong with this focused level of
consciousness...
Another way of thinking about your ego and unconsciousness is the story
of Jesus on the cross...
...Jesus knew that the people that were killing him didn't know what
they were doing...he said something like "forgive them, for they know
not what they do"..."know not" here meaning...unaware or unconsciousness.
The Ego Concept: Identification with Form
When you are identified with form you are identified with your ego.
Your ego makes the mistake of thinking that it NEEDS an
endless about of stuff to prop it up and make it special...
Stuff can be a really cool job...or a horrible life situation, or a
dreadful past...
...it could be identified with an addiction to pornography, drugs, TV or DVDs, the internet or countless other things...
...perhaps your ego is really identified in a role that you play in
your life situation...mother, father, Colonel, Mayor, President,
teacher...
...there is nothing wrong with doing those things, as long as you
remember and are aware that the roles that you play are not
you...you are always a human being...and not a role...
...you can consciously choose to play a role and then stop and remember
that you are a human playing a role...
We also identify with money in an unconscious way...if we have
money...we are afraid to lose it in the future and won't allow
ourselves to be happy now with what we have...the ego will always try
to get more money...
...if you don't have money, then the ego will always be longing for
something outside itself...money in this case, and won't allow itself
peace and happiness until it gets some money...
...even when the ego gets the money...it will turn the situation around
and be afraid to lose the money...
...if you are aware that money is around for a while and if you have it
is ok to use it and enjoy it while it is around...but it is not you.
You can have money or not have money and be conscious of the
fact that your money situation is NOT you...
Same goes for STUFF and this is linked to money sometimes as well.
I watched a DVD about credit card debt ("maxed
out")...there was a woman who lived alone in a huge house that
was about to go into foreclosure...
...she had maxed out all of here credit cards, and still had a house
full of plates and other collectibles that she was very much afraid of
losing...
...obviously, she was completely identified with form...she could not
possibly give up her plates and her house to try to live without
debt...without her stuff...who would she be? Without her sad story...who would she be?
...This is a great example of investing a large part of our identities
in what we have.
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