Personal Development for Smart People, Part 2
This
page is Part 2 of my review of Steve Pavlina's new book Personal
Development for Smart People. If you missed Part 1 (it was
really good!) you can click below to go back.
Personal Development for Smart People: Part II
Practical Application
In
Part II, Steve really dives in with suggestions for real world things
to experiment with...the inspiration and challenges still abound as
well.
Throughout Part II, Steve applies the principles from Part I to each of the areas of your life in Part II.
For example, Chapter 8 is Habits, Steve has sub sections for each of the seven principles and how you can align your habits each principle.
Throughout Part II, Steve applies the principles from Part I to each of the areas of your life in Part II.
For example, Chapter 8 is Habits, Steve has sub sections for each of the seven principles and how you can align your habits each principle.
Steve starts out this
chapter describing the benefits of habits, and how we really can't live
without them.
For example, he reminds me that when I was a baby, I had yet to learn how to control my arms and legs...
...I'm sure this was a rather difficult endeavor that my little baby-self spent a large amount of time and effort trying to work out. Thankfully my mind saved all that work in habits (or sub-routines in computer lingo).
Now, I don't have think about moving my arms and legs...and frankly I don't even KNOW HOW to do it...I just do it...my mind-body remembers the sub-routine and I benefit from the habit.
The system of saving habits can also create some bad habits as well...we label those habits "addictions". I have already talked about my attempts to convert bad habits...so I will discuss how I have done with installing new habits.
For some reason, I don't like shaving in the morning. I think it has to do with me serving in the military for 20 years and being required to take up this habit.
Now that I am retired, I can skip shaving for a day or two and still go to work and that is acceptable...another thing I can do, is shave before I go to bed instead of part of my morning clean up routine.
I tried doing this while I was in uniform, but inevitably, five-o'clock shadow would show up after lunch instead of at five o'clock and I would feel "out of uniform"
This habit was rather easy to install, because I wanted to...but I still had to make a conscious effort to remember to do it before I went to bed...the upside was if I forgot...I went to work scruffy that day. :-)
"To apply truth to your habits, take a moment to assess the habits you're already running (<---see computer geek!). What are your best habits? What are your worst? Do you have any addictions? Do these habits serve you well or hold you back? Do they help you align with truth, or do you feel compelled to lie about them? What habits are you hiding? What habits are you most proud of?"
I still have addictions...I am working on ridding myself of tobacco (not very hard really, but I am working on it.)
I recently stopped drinking beer and wine after work or with dinner. I changed into an "event" drinker.
One of my favorite habits is getting up at 4:00 am basically everyday. Even if I was up really late the day before...I still get up. If I feel like I need to sleep more, I will stay up for a little while and then go back to bed...at least I maintained the "wake up" habit.
I have also started riding my bike to work, which is a lot of fun, but I am still perfecting that habit.
I really need to start working on my diet. Even though I am exercising quiet a bit, my weight is off the charts. I weigh more now than I ever had.
I have just recently (like this weekend) started experimenting not eating meat...it's not as difficult as I thought...you can usually find a bean burrito in California...I want to see if I feel better without meat...so far I do...after just a few days without meat.
This meatless idea was sort of a spontaneous experiment that I decided to try after feeling EXTRA bloated after eating a hamburger. I thought, "I wonder how I would feel now if that had been a veggie burger?" So the next day, I got the veggie burger...I felt (and feel) a lot better.
Habits and Power
"Bringing truth to your habits is an important step, but nothing will change if you don't take action. You must accept the greater truth that if you don't consciously and deliberately alter your habits, you'll continue reinforcing your existing patterns by default, and your predicted outcomes will likely come to pass. If you wish to improve upon those results, you must do whatever it takes to change your habits now, even if you expect the process to be brutally difficult. Facing a significant short-term challenge today is vastly superior to decades of regret."
Steve uses a metaphor of a chess game for attacking your problems. In chess, there is a early game, a middle game, and end game. You should approach bad habits (or new good habits) the same way. I like this paragraph about the early game of weight loss:
"...For example if you want to change your eating habits and loss weight, specific methods may include measuring food portions, keeping a food journal, buying extra fruits and vegetables, ridding your house of junk food, learning healthy recipes, keeping the television turned off at mealtimes, finding a diet buddy, joining a weight-loss group, buying a new scale, posting pictures of thin people to motivate you, avoiding situations where you tend to overeat, charting your progress, and so on."
...whew! If I did all of those in preparation to loss weight...I think it would be a foregone conclusion that it would happen.
List of 66 good Habits
Under "Habits and Authority" Steve lists 66 habits that you might try to install in your life, all of them described in about 3-5 lines of text...wow! You already know some of them, but as a small sample of habits:
(I paraphrased the first two of these and partial quoted the last one)
Daily Goals - Decide what do to; then do it
Worst First - Do the thing you dread the most first...everything after that will seem easy
"Peak Times - Identify your peak cycles of productivity, and schedule your most important tasks for those times..."
I use Peak Times to write this web page. I am most able and willing to write as soon as I get out of bed (after I make a banana, raw chocolate, flax, cashew butter smoothie...yummies!).
For example, he reminds me that when I was a baby, I had yet to learn how to control my arms and legs...
...I'm sure this was a rather difficult endeavor that my little baby-self spent a large amount of time and effort trying to work out. Thankfully my mind saved all that work in habits (or sub-routines in computer lingo).
Now, I don't have think about moving my arms and legs...and frankly I don't even KNOW HOW to do it...I just do it...my mind-body remembers the sub-routine and I benefit from the habit.
The system of saving habits can also create some bad habits as well...we label those habits "addictions". I have already talked about my attempts to convert bad habits...so I will discuss how I have done with installing new habits.
For some reason, I don't like shaving in the morning. I think it has to do with me serving in the military for 20 years and being required to take up this habit.
Now that I am retired, I can skip shaving for a day or two and still go to work and that is acceptable...another thing I can do, is shave before I go to bed instead of part of my morning clean up routine.
I tried doing this while I was in uniform, but inevitably, five-o'clock shadow would show up after lunch instead of at five o'clock and I would feel "out of uniform"
This habit was rather easy to install, because I wanted to...but I still had to make a conscious effort to remember to do it before I went to bed...the upside was if I forgot...I went to work scruffy that day. :-)
Habits and Truth
"To apply truth to your habits, take a moment to assess the habits you're already running (<---see computer geek!). What are your best habits? What are your worst? Do you have any addictions? Do these habits serve you well or hold you back? Do they help you align with truth, or do you feel compelled to lie about them? What habits are you hiding? What habits are you most proud of?"
I still have addictions...I am working on ridding myself of tobacco (not very hard really, but I am working on it.)
I recently stopped drinking beer and wine after work or with dinner. I changed into an "event" drinker.
One of my favorite habits is getting up at 4:00 am basically everyday. Even if I was up really late the day before...I still get up. If I feel like I need to sleep more, I will stay up for a little while and then go back to bed...at least I maintained the "wake up" habit.
I have also started riding my bike to work, which is a lot of fun, but I am still perfecting that habit.
I really need to start working on my diet. Even though I am exercising quiet a bit, my weight is off the charts. I weigh more now than I ever had.
I have just recently (like this weekend) started experimenting not eating meat...it's not as difficult as I thought...you can usually find a bean burrito in California...I want to see if I feel better without meat...so far I do...after just a few days without meat.
This meatless idea was sort of a spontaneous experiment that I decided to try after feeling EXTRA bloated after eating a hamburger. I thought, "I wonder how I would feel now if that had been a veggie burger?" So the next day, I got the veggie burger...I felt (and feel) a lot better.
Habits and Power
"Bringing truth to your habits is an important step, but nothing will change if you don't take action. You must accept the greater truth that if you don't consciously and deliberately alter your habits, you'll continue reinforcing your existing patterns by default, and your predicted outcomes will likely come to pass. If you wish to improve upon those results, you must do whatever it takes to change your habits now, even if you expect the process to be brutally difficult. Facing a significant short-term challenge today is vastly superior to decades of regret."
Steve uses a metaphor of a chess game for attacking your problems. In chess, there is a early game, a middle game, and end game. You should approach bad habits (or new good habits) the same way. I like this paragraph about the early game of weight loss:
"...For example if you want to change your eating habits and loss weight, specific methods may include measuring food portions, keeping a food journal, buying extra fruits and vegetables, ridding your house of junk food, learning healthy recipes, keeping the television turned off at mealtimes, finding a diet buddy, joining a weight-loss group, buying a new scale, posting pictures of thin people to motivate you, avoiding situations where you tend to overeat, charting your progress, and so on."
...whew! If I did all of those in preparation to loss weight...I think it would be a foregone conclusion that it would happen.
List of 66 good Habits
Under "Habits and Authority" Steve lists 66 habits that you might try to install in your life, all of them described in about 3-5 lines of text...wow! You already know some of them, but as a small sample of habits:
(I paraphrased the first two of these and partial quoted the last one)
Daily Goals - Decide what do to; then do it
Worst First - Do the thing you dread the most first...everything after that will seem easy
"Peak Times - Identify your peak cycles of productivity, and schedule your most important tasks for those times..."
I use Peak Times to write this web page. I am most able and willing to write as soon as I get out of bed (after I make a banana, raw chocolate, flax, cashew butter smoothie...yummies!).
Personal
Development for Smart People: Career
"The message of your career is
at least as important as the medium. Your medium is how you
express yourself, but your message is what you express. My message is
about consciously growing as a human being, but I can express that same
message through different media. I can write about it, speak
about it, or even make a movie about it if I wanted to.
Someone else could use these same media to express an
entirely new message. For example, a doctor's message could
about healing, compassion, scientific discovery, education, vitality,
or a variety of other possibilities. Just because two people
share a similar medium doesn't mean that they share the same message"
So, for me this web page is my medium, and my message is about shifting your (and my) consciousness.
My current "job" does allow me to express my message...just only the small amount of folks that work with me or near me get to benefit from my message...that's why I am working on changing my medium to this web page.
Steve says you should not confuse your medium with your message...your medium is bound to change many times during your life, whereas your message will remain largely unchanged.
Also, when you change your career, you can expect a significant income drop:
"The most important element of choosing the right medium is whether it's a good fit for your inner message". It's important to stay true to that message, even if you must endure a substantial pay cut. In order to transition from game development to personal development, I allowed by income to drop significantly, and my family made some sacrifices to support my decision as we cut back on expenses."...
"...Never allow considerations such as security, money, or fame to get in the way of the truth. Real security doesn't come from your job or position; it can only come from your alignment with truth, love and power. You'll explore money in more detail in Chapter 10, but for now just consider that the best way to optimize your income is to find a career medium that allows you to share your most important message. By sharing your message with others, you provide exactly the kind of value that can generate abundant income. And as for fame, if you do become famous, then let it arise from your alignment with truth, love and power, not because of a false image you've concocted."
Career and Love
In order to find your core message Steve suggests the process below:
"1. Take out a sheet of paper or open a blank word-processing document where you can type. I recommend the latter because its faster.
2. Write at the top: What is my true purpose in life?
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops in your head. I doesn't have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine. If your feeling nihilistic, begin with the answer: "I don't have a purpose," or "Life is meaningless", and to take it from there.
4. Repeat Step 3 until you write an answer that makes you cry. This is your core message."
I started doing this exercise, but I ran out time before I cried, so I will have to try again later.
For now, I am going to ask life what it wants me to do and see what happens.
My current message that I am working with is I want to help people learn to shift their consciousness and learn to be present in the moment.
I want to teach everyone that they can be excited to jump out of bed in the morning (whenever that is) and be excited to live the day in service to humanity however they see fit.
Career and Power
Steve is more than a little "in the face" of the reader here...I LOVE IT.
"Reasonable career choices will depend on your knowledge, skills, and talents; and it's up to you to proactively develop those abilities. You may have been born with few advantages, but you're perfectly capable of growing beyond the limits of your upbringing. If you didn't receive a good education, then educate yourself now. If you're starting off broke or in debt, then accept that as your reality, and work your out of it with disciplined effort. If you're surrounded by people who denigrate and criticize you for wanting more, leave them behind and build a new social group that will support you. Stay loyal to truth, love and power and you'll attract others of a similar nature.
Don't waste time making excuses because that will only disempower you. If you want to grow beyond your current situation, you can't pretend to be powerless. No matter how many obstacles stand in your way, you can still use your power to knock them down one by one. If it takes years to reach your goals, then so be it. The time is going to pass away, so you might as well put it to good use. Years from now you'll either be where you want to be...or you won't. You can either invest your time in growth or do the time in a cage."
This is SO true...for me I love this. I want to stick these two paragraphs all over my work space. This is really inspiring for me when I do something growth related...but I kind of limp through it...at least I did something.
Facing the truth about life is hard...but Steve makes a great point here...I am going to be somewhere...I might as well make that be where I want to be, doing what I want to do.
I like the idea of working myself out of my OWN cage that I created. Sure my cage is comfortable. It keeps all the distractions that I used my money and time to buy in order to keep me in the cage!
If I use my money and time to GROW and improve my abilities, it will not only be A LOT more fun, eventually, I will be able to leave the cage behind forever.
The cage here is not just my house and my stuff...it is my job, my relationships, my friends...my entire life situation.
It is scary knowing that I am doing this to myself...but I can use that fearful feeling and transmute it into POWER to change my cage into a great SHIP that will carry me where ever I want to go on earth.
Ok, enough with the metaphors.
Career and Courage
This is my favorite paragraph in this section:
"Don't play the career game for cash. If you think money is the top prize, you'll get suckered in by all kinds of get-rich-quick schemes, and you'll make a lot of dumb bets. Even when you win the money you seek, you still lose because you miss the mark. The real prize is fulfillment. This means putting yourself in a position where you're doing work you love, building your strengths and talents, enjoying abundant income, and making a meaningful contribution to others. Now, that's a prize worth having"
Ok, so let's look at me:
1. Played the career game for cash. CHECK!
2. Thought money was the top prize. CHECK!
3. Got suckered by get-rich-schemes. CHECK!
4. Won the money...still missed the mark. CHECK CHECK!
I was at a get-rich-scheme event (where I did get suckered out of $777 for some training that was worthless) when I did learn a valuable lesson.
I can decide to be happy NOW before I have my fulfillment.
It was Tony Robbins that first pointed this out...he basically said, why do you want money?
People shout out...TO BE HAPPY! TO BE FREE! QUIT MY JOB!
Tony says: Why do you need money to be happy or free or quit your job? You can be happy NOW and work on the other stuff along the way...it will make the trip more fun (I am paraphrasing here).
This is my most valuable lesson...to be completely happy and fulfilled NOW. Now lasts forever. The rest is just window dressing or what I like to call "making the dream more fun". After you learn to be present in the now, work on getting everything else lined up.
The next paragraph is really good too:
"Don't settle for cowardly career choices. Don't wimp out on your dreams. Exercise your courage to go after the prize of true fulfillment, which is so much greater than the illusion of security. Don't get so attached to material possessions that you're afraid to risk them for what really matters. When you die, all your stuff will be left behind anyway; it's really not that important. What matters is how much conscious growth you experience while you're here since that's the only thing you can possibly keep after you die."
I might say that being fully conscious and truly accepting each moment is step #1...but that is really a tomato---tomatoe kind of difference.
Career and Intelligence
"To build an authentic career, you need to find the path that keeps you aligned with truth, love and power. This requires paying attention to the following four questions:
1. Body (needs) What must I do?
2. Mind (abilities) What can I do?
3. Heart (desire) What do I want to do?
4. Spirit (contribution) What should I do?
An authentic career is found the place where all four of these questions produce the same answer..."
"It may take significant effort to build an authentic career, but it's definitely worthwhile. When you have all four areas working synergistically together, the combined effect is truly amazing. Instead of meeting your needs, you experience true abundance. Instead of applying you knowledge to your tasks, you unlock your true genius. Instead of tolerating your daily routine, you work in a state of joy. And instead of just putting in time, you fill you days with a sense of purpose.
What if you know these four areas are out of balance? If you can't immediately target all four, where should you begin? Of all of them, the heart area the best place to start because it gives rise to all the rest. There's some truth to the notion that if you do what you love, the money will follow. It's not quite that simple in practice, but the basic idea is correct. If you simply persist in doing what you enjoy, you'll eventually get good at it. Once you reach a decent skill level, you'll be able to share the value you create with others, and many people will appreciate it. Then you simply ask for for fair value in return, you can begin to generate income from your work. This process may take many years to unfold, but it will lead you to a very positive place, and it all starts with doing what you love."
Steve goes on to say that most people start on #1 and #2 and then start making money doing things they can do that will make them money...which works, but doesn't address the other two...then you end up with a job that makes you money, but you don't really enjoy the work, and so you contribution is very limited.
Steve also mentions people that do what they love, but don't attend to the other three areas, so they don't have enough resources to pay the rent and struggle to build abilities which in turn limits their contribution.
Finally, Steve points out that it is also a trap to focus on skills development first.
"The last alternative is to make your top priority the development of your talents and skills, but this can also be a dead end. You may wind up getting really good at something you simply don't enjoy or that fails to meet you needs, and this disconnects you from your true self. I think it's a huge mistake for parents to pressure their children to go into a certain line of work such as medicine or law just because it's what the parents want. The world doesn't need more unhappy, unfulfilled doctors and lawyers.
There are not substitutes for true happiness. It's better to do what you love, homeless and broke, working from a park bench, than to sell your soul for millions of dollars. The good news, however, is that if you follow the heart-centered path, you probably won't be broke for long. You'll be doing work that provides value for others, which is precisely how you generate income in the first place."
The part about the park bench is probably inspired by Eckhart Tolle. I am currently reading Eckhart Tolle's book the "Power of Now" and I just noticed that Steve has "Power of Now" on his recommended reading list.
Eckhart was a professor in England before he basically became so UNHAPPY with his job and life as a professor, that he shifted his consciousness and became a mostly conscious person. He quit his job and lived on a park bench for about two years...and he experienced JOY...on that bench.
I'm not sure what went on with Eckhart's life when he was on the bench in the park...how he ate and drank and stayed warm enough to live...the important lesson was that he experienced more joy with NOTHING in his life more than all the "stuff" and trappings of his old life.
I don't live on a park bench...I don't feel the need...but I get the idea and I really understand the joy of "no stuff"...allow me to use a story to elaborate.
I spent 20 years in the USAF. One on my favorite times during my Air Force years, was PCS time. PCS stands for Permanent Change of Station...or in human speak...its time to MOVE.
I moved about every 3 years or so...and even though it was a lot of work...when we finally moved I felt more free than ever before.
The process was fun, and my wife and moved so many times, we were very good at moving. We lived in 3 different house in England within a 3 year period...the last house we moved into, we were only there for about 8 months, so we didn't unpack much.
My favorite part was toward the very end. The Air Force has all sorts of support agencies to help make your moves in and out and easy as they can be...one of the things most people do when they move from an overseas location is to borrow furniture from the Furniture Management Office...they store and lend out furniture for people coming and going.
When you have borrowed furniture in your house...it means that the movers have come and gone and you are now so close to leaving you are living out of suit cases.
Another sign that we were about to be temporarily homeless, is the Diminishing number of keys that we had to carry. I had a couple of keys from the office, car key, house key, and of course a badge to beep into work...as those get turned in...we got a little closer!!!
When we were overseas, we bought cheap cars and sold them before we left and then rented or borrowed a car until it was time to leave...two less keys...now I am getting sooo close.
Finally the day comes and you move out of your house and into "billeting" which is Air Force speak for "temporary lodging" aka a hotel room...more like a nice suite when you are a Master Sergeant. At that point, I gave away my last key and have two temporary keys...that's the point when you are traveling and are officially "homeless".
My wife and I would stay homeless for about a month or so...visit friends and family...talk about how cool it was to be homeless for a while...then eventually do the opposite of the move out process and move back in where ever we landed...and eventually I got all the keys back....bummer.
That lovely feeling of not having "stuff" at "my place" was kinda cool...some times I secretly wished that my stuff would be destroyed...of course it was insured and my wife would just go out and get new stuff...but I would get NEW stuff...back then, I think I just wanted NEW toys...now I don't think I would really mind not getting much back.
I suppose I need some things to do my work and for a basic level of comfort, but I am looking forward to taking the "Jeff" or "Yooper" show on the road.
My wife and I want to be disconnected from place and roam around. That is one major motivation for wanting a business that is not connected to place...like a web business.
I can write anywhere and then the next time we hit a wifi hot spot...hit send...then keep going. Maybe when we get this thing really rolling I will get a wireless anywhere internet card...but those are limited to places to where you can get a cell signal, so I'm not sure it would be worth it...we'll see.
So, for me this web page is my medium, and my message is about shifting your (and my) consciousness.
My current "job" does allow me to express my message...just only the small amount of folks that work with me or near me get to benefit from my message...that's why I am working on changing my medium to this web page.
Steve says you should not confuse your medium with your message...your medium is bound to change many times during your life, whereas your message will remain largely unchanged.
Also, when you change your career, you can expect a significant income drop:
"The most important element of choosing the right medium is whether it's a good fit for your inner message". It's important to stay true to that message, even if you must endure a substantial pay cut. In order to transition from game development to personal development, I allowed by income to drop significantly, and my family made some sacrifices to support my decision as we cut back on expenses."...
"...Never allow considerations such as security, money, or fame to get in the way of the truth. Real security doesn't come from your job or position; it can only come from your alignment with truth, love and power. You'll explore money in more detail in Chapter 10, but for now just consider that the best way to optimize your income is to find a career medium that allows you to share your most important message. By sharing your message with others, you provide exactly the kind of value that can generate abundant income. And as for fame, if you do become famous, then let it arise from your alignment with truth, love and power, not because of a false image you've concocted."
Career and Love
In order to find your core message Steve suggests the process below:
"1. Take out a sheet of paper or open a blank word-processing document where you can type. I recommend the latter because its faster.
2. Write at the top: What is my true purpose in life?
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops in your head. I doesn't have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine. If your feeling nihilistic, begin with the answer: "I don't have a purpose," or "Life is meaningless", and to take it from there.
4. Repeat Step 3 until you write an answer that makes you cry. This is your core message."
I started doing this exercise, but I ran out time before I cried, so I will have to try again later.
For now, I am going to ask life what it wants me to do and see what happens.
My current message that I am working with is I want to help people learn to shift their consciousness and learn to be present in the moment.
I want to teach everyone that they can be excited to jump out of bed in the morning (whenever that is) and be excited to live the day in service to humanity however they see fit.
Career and Power
Steve is more than a little "in the face" of the reader here...I LOVE IT.
"Reasonable career choices will depend on your knowledge, skills, and talents; and it's up to you to proactively develop those abilities. You may have been born with few advantages, but you're perfectly capable of growing beyond the limits of your upbringing. If you didn't receive a good education, then educate yourself now. If you're starting off broke or in debt, then accept that as your reality, and work your out of it with disciplined effort. If you're surrounded by people who denigrate and criticize you for wanting more, leave them behind and build a new social group that will support you. Stay loyal to truth, love and power and you'll attract others of a similar nature.
Don't waste time making excuses because that will only disempower you. If you want to grow beyond your current situation, you can't pretend to be powerless. No matter how many obstacles stand in your way, you can still use your power to knock them down one by one. If it takes years to reach your goals, then so be it. The time is going to pass away, so you might as well put it to good use. Years from now you'll either be where you want to be...or you won't. You can either invest your time in growth or do the time in a cage."
This is SO true...for me I love this. I want to stick these two paragraphs all over my work space. This is really inspiring for me when I do something growth related...but I kind of limp through it...at least I did something.
Facing the truth about life is hard...but Steve makes a great point here...I am going to be somewhere...I might as well make that be where I want to be, doing what I want to do.
I like the idea of working myself out of my OWN cage that I created. Sure my cage is comfortable. It keeps all the distractions that I used my money and time to buy in order to keep me in the cage!
If I use my money and time to GROW and improve my abilities, it will not only be A LOT more fun, eventually, I will be able to leave the cage behind forever.
The cage here is not just my house and my stuff...it is my job, my relationships, my friends...my entire life situation.
It is scary knowing that I am doing this to myself...but I can use that fearful feeling and transmute it into POWER to change my cage into a great SHIP that will carry me where ever I want to go on earth.
Ok, enough with the metaphors.
Career and Courage
This is my favorite paragraph in this section:
"Don't play the career game for cash. If you think money is the top prize, you'll get suckered in by all kinds of get-rich-quick schemes, and you'll make a lot of dumb bets. Even when you win the money you seek, you still lose because you miss the mark. The real prize is fulfillment. This means putting yourself in a position where you're doing work you love, building your strengths and talents, enjoying abundant income, and making a meaningful contribution to others. Now, that's a prize worth having"
Ok, so let's look at me:
1. Played the career game for cash. CHECK!
2. Thought money was the top prize. CHECK!
3. Got suckered by get-rich-schemes. CHECK!
4. Won the money...still missed the mark. CHECK CHECK!
I was at a get-rich-scheme event (where I did get suckered out of $777 for some training that was worthless) when I did learn a valuable lesson.
I can decide to be happy NOW before I have my fulfillment.
It was Tony Robbins that first pointed this out...he basically said, why do you want money?
People shout out...TO BE HAPPY! TO BE FREE! QUIT MY JOB!
Tony says: Why do you need money to be happy or free or quit your job? You can be happy NOW and work on the other stuff along the way...it will make the trip more fun (I am paraphrasing here).
This is my most valuable lesson...to be completely happy and fulfilled NOW. Now lasts forever. The rest is just window dressing or what I like to call "making the dream more fun". After you learn to be present in the now, work on getting everything else lined up.
The next paragraph is really good too:
"Don't settle for cowardly career choices. Don't wimp out on your dreams. Exercise your courage to go after the prize of true fulfillment, which is so much greater than the illusion of security. Don't get so attached to material possessions that you're afraid to risk them for what really matters. When you die, all your stuff will be left behind anyway; it's really not that important. What matters is how much conscious growth you experience while you're here since that's the only thing you can possibly keep after you die."
I might say that being fully conscious and truly accepting each moment is step #1...but that is really a tomato---tomatoe kind of difference.
Career and Intelligence
"To build an authentic career, you need to find the path that keeps you aligned with truth, love and power. This requires paying attention to the following four questions:
1. Body (needs) What must I do?
2. Mind (abilities) What can I do?
3. Heart (desire) What do I want to do?
4. Spirit (contribution) What should I do?
An authentic career is found the place where all four of these questions produce the same answer..."
"It may take significant effort to build an authentic career, but it's definitely worthwhile. When you have all four areas working synergistically together, the combined effect is truly amazing. Instead of meeting your needs, you experience true abundance. Instead of applying you knowledge to your tasks, you unlock your true genius. Instead of tolerating your daily routine, you work in a state of joy. And instead of just putting in time, you fill you days with a sense of purpose.
What if you know these four areas are out of balance? If you can't immediately target all four, where should you begin? Of all of them, the heart area the best place to start because it gives rise to all the rest. There's some truth to the notion that if you do what you love, the money will follow. It's not quite that simple in practice, but the basic idea is correct. If you simply persist in doing what you enjoy, you'll eventually get good at it. Once you reach a decent skill level, you'll be able to share the value you create with others, and many people will appreciate it. Then you simply ask for for fair value in return, you can begin to generate income from your work. This process may take many years to unfold, but it will lead you to a very positive place, and it all starts with doing what you love."
Steve goes on to say that most people start on #1 and #2 and then start making money doing things they can do that will make them money...which works, but doesn't address the other two...then you end up with a job that makes you money, but you don't really enjoy the work, and so you contribution is very limited.
Steve also mentions people that do what they love, but don't attend to the other three areas, so they don't have enough resources to pay the rent and struggle to build abilities which in turn limits their contribution.
Finally, Steve points out that it is also a trap to focus on skills development first.
"The last alternative is to make your top priority the development of your talents and skills, but this can also be a dead end. You may wind up getting really good at something you simply don't enjoy or that fails to meet you needs, and this disconnects you from your true self. I think it's a huge mistake for parents to pressure their children to go into a certain line of work such as medicine or law just because it's what the parents want. The world doesn't need more unhappy, unfulfilled doctors and lawyers.
There are not substitutes for true happiness. It's better to do what you love, homeless and broke, working from a park bench, than to sell your soul for millions of dollars. The good news, however, is that if you follow the heart-centered path, you probably won't be broke for long. You'll be doing work that provides value for others, which is precisely how you generate income in the first place."
The part about the park bench is probably inspired by Eckhart Tolle. I am currently reading Eckhart Tolle's book the "Power of Now" and I just noticed that Steve has "Power of Now" on his recommended reading list.
Eckhart was a professor in England before he basically became so UNHAPPY with his job and life as a professor, that he shifted his consciousness and became a mostly conscious person. He quit his job and lived on a park bench for about two years...and he experienced JOY...on that bench.
I'm not sure what went on with Eckhart's life when he was on the bench in the park...how he ate and drank and stayed warm enough to live...the important lesson was that he experienced more joy with NOTHING in his life more than all the "stuff" and trappings of his old life.
I don't live on a park bench...I don't feel the need...but I get the idea and I really understand the joy of "no stuff"...allow me to use a story to elaborate.
I spent 20 years in the USAF. One on my favorite times during my Air Force years, was PCS time. PCS stands for Permanent Change of Station...or in human speak...its time to MOVE.
I moved about every 3 years or so...and even though it was a lot of work...when we finally moved I felt more free than ever before.
The process was fun, and my wife and moved so many times, we were very good at moving. We lived in 3 different house in England within a 3 year period...the last house we moved into, we were only there for about 8 months, so we didn't unpack much.
My favorite part was toward the very end. The Air Force has all sorts of support agencies to help make your moves in and out and easy as they can be...one of the things most people do when they move from an overseas location is to borrow furniture from the Furniture Management Office...they store and lend out furniture for people coming and going.
When you have borrowed furniture in your house...it means that the movers have come and gone and you are now so close to leaving you are living out of suit cases.
Another sign that we were about to be temporarily homeless, is the Diminishing number of keys that we had to carry. I had a couple of keys from the office, car key, house key, and of course a badge to beep into work...as those get turned in...we got a little closer!!!
When we were overseas, we bought cheap cars and sold them before we left and then rented or borrowed a car until it was time to leave...two less keys...now I am getting sooo close.
Finally the day comes and you move out of your house and into "billeting" which is Air Force speak for "temporary lodging" aka a hotel room...more like a nice suite when you are a Master Sergeant. At that point, I gave away my last key and have two temporary keys...that's the point when you are traveling and are officially "homeless".
My wife and I would stay homeless for about a month or so...visit friends and family...talk about how cool it was to be homeless for a while...then eventually do the opposite of the move out process and move back in where ever we landed...and eventually I got all the keys back....bummer.
That lovely feeling of not having "stuff" at "my place" was kinda cool...some times I secretly wished that my stuff would be destroyed...of course it was insured and my wife would just go out and get new stuff...but I would get NEW stuff...back then, I think I just wanted NEW toys...now I don't think I would really mind not getting much back.
I suppose I need some things to do my work and for a basic level of comfort, but I am looking forward to taking the "Jeff" or "Yooper" show on the road.
My wife and I want to be disconnected from place and roam around. That is one major motivation for wanting a business that is not connected to place...like a web business.
I can write anywhere and then the next time we hit a wifi hot spot...hit send...then keep going. Maybe when we get this thing really rolling I will get a wireless anywhere internet card...but those are limited to places to where you can get a cell signal, so I'm not sure it would be worth it...we'll see.
Personal
Development for Smart People: Money
The Chapter about
money is a little challenging for me to read...not because I don't have
money...but because I think I a little bit of money, and I think I know
something about it already.
For the record, I'm not a millionaire, I have a nice little nest egg invested in the stock market.
We live below our means and control our debt.
Having said all that, Steve gave me some new ideas to think about.
"There are two basic ways to earn money:
1. Make a meaningful social contribution, and receive payment commensurate with the social value of your contribution.
2. Take advantage of market inefficiencies to extract money without contributing any substantial value."
Steve goes on to say that #1 is can be called a contributor and #2 can be called a moocher.
I don't want to think that I mooch...but I guess I do some level of in-direct mooching by Steve's definitions.
The first thing that hit me was, that I was investing in companies and stock indexes that "mooch" off the system....this is a totally new way for me to think about what is happening with my money.
In the short-term I will continue to mooch in this way, until I can figure out how to invest my money in non-mooching interests.
The company that I work for most likely does some mooching...I have already decided that I want to quit that job in the long-term plan (next couple of years I hope) and work for myself on this web business.
In this paragraph, Steve made me think more about what I do at my job that Steve calls mooching:
"Sometimes mooching becomes so habitual that's easy to overlook. Many people who think of themselves as working in contribution-based careers harbor an underlying moocher mind-set. They aim to extract more social value than they actually contribute. This includes the attorney who records more billable hours than were actually worked, the CFO who fudges the numbers to inflate a company's stock price, and the employee who performs personal tasks while on the clock. Such actions are unbecoming of genuine contributors."
I do the one about "personal tasks" while on the clock at work when I bored. ..like Steve says...it's easy to do...everybody does. I can work on that and still know that I still contribute a lot of value to my company and my customer, so I do lean to the contributor side...I just never really thought of that as "mooching" so it made me think.
Steve then writes about the contributor mind-set, which is where he is working from and where I am working towards.
"Under the contributor mind-set, you receive money as payment for your social service. The money you earn is society's way of saying: "In exchange for your valued contribution, you are hereby granted the right to extract equivalent value from society at a time of your choosing" This is a beautiful thing!"
This is how Steve's web site works, and the very cool thing is that his built a system that allows him to provide value to his readers FOR FREE and still create abundant wealth.
I think this is so cool, I get up a 4 a.m. nearly everyday in order to work on creating my own system (this web page), to do the same thing. It doesn't matter that Steve is doing it already...it doesn't work like that.
Even though Steve is already doing it very well, there is still room for me to do it as well.
For the record, I'm not a millionaire, I have a nice little nest egg invested in the stock market.
We live below our means and control our debt.
Having said all that, Steve gave me some new ideas to think about.
"There are two basic ways to earn money:
1. Make a meaningful social contribution, and receive payment commensurate with the social value of your contribution.
2. Take advantage of market inefficiencies to extract money without contributing any substantial value."
Steve goes on to say that #1 is can be called a contributor and #2 can be called a moocher.
I don't want to think that I mooch...but I guess I do some level of in-direct mooching by Steve's definitions.
The first thing that hit me was, that I was investing in companies and stock indexes that "mooch" off the system....this is a totally new way for me to think about what is happening with my money.
In the short-term I will continue to mooch in this way, until I can figure out how to invest my money in non-mooching interests.
The company that I work for most likely does some mooching...I have already decided that I want to quit that job in the long-term plan (next couple of years I hope) and work for myself on this web business.
In this paragraph, Steve made me think more about what I do at my job that Steve calls mooching:
"Sometimes mooching becomes so habitual that's easy to overlook. Many people who think of themselves as working in contribution-based careers harbor an underlying moocher mind-set. They aim to extract more social value than they actually contribute. This includes the attorney who records more billable hours than were actually worked, the CFO who fudges the numbers to inflate a company's stock price, and the employee who performs personal tasks while on the clock. Such actions are unbecoming of genuine contributors."
I do the one about "personal tasks" while on the clock at work when I bored. ..like Steve says...it's easy to do...everybody does. I can work on that and still know that I still contribute a lot of value to my company and my customer, so I do lean to the contributor side...I just never really thought of that as "mooching" so it made me think.
Steve then writes about the contributor mind-set, which is where he is working from and where I am working towards.
"Under the contributor mind-set, you receive money as payment for your social service. The money you earn is society's way of saying: "In exchange for your valued contribution, you are hereby granted the right to extract equivalent value from society at a time of your choosing" This is a beautiful thing!"
This is how Steve's web site works, and the very cool thing is that his built a system that allows him to provide value to his readers FOR FREE and still create abundant wealth.
I think this is so cool, I get up a 4 a.m. nearly everyday in order to work on creating my own system (this web page), to do the same thing. It doesn't matter that Steve is doing it already...it doesn't work like that.
Even though Steve is already doing it very well, there is still room for me to do it as well.
Personal
Development for Smart People: Health
Steve's book inspired
me to improve my health and health and fitness habits is a couple of
ways so far, and a few ideas are on my to do list.
Shortly after first reading the book, I decided to cut down on my alcohol intake. Instead of a couple of beers are a couple glasses of wine after work...I ride my bike or read or watch a little TV (via DVD on Netflix or maybe PBS). I converted myself into what I like to call an "event drinker"...if there is a drinking event, such as Oktoberfest, I get my Stein and dance the Chicken Dance and have a couple of Lagers.
Drinking every day, really wears me out and saps my energy. I really noticed that lack of energy, so I wanted to change. It easier for me to change or delete a habit, if I am motivated to do so...Steve provided a little nudge to notice that after a 3-beer night it was more difficult to get up at 4 a.m. and work on my web page and then perhaps ride my bike to work.
I recently bought a bike and went through a 3-month(ish) trial with riding my bike to work in combination of using the LA Metro system. It worked, and I enjoyed the bike rides, but the overall system was cutting into my web business time.
I can drive my car to work and get home early enough to ride to the be beach and listen to the ocean for a little while (it's about 7 miles to the beach and another 2 miles alone the strand in Redondo) and then ride back in time for supper.
I love to ride my bike...I didn't realize before this year...that greater LA has seasons! I love riding after work and seeing the leaves fall from the trees and notice the longer shadows of the afternoon/evening time. I lived here since 2003 and this year was the first year I felt like I was living back in Michigan watching the leaves change color.
I even did a very short experiment with a "no meat" diet as I mentioned before (that was a couple of weeks ago now). It was very spontaneous trial and it only lasted a few days, but it was still informative.
It was a lot easier than I thought it would be to find food that didn't have meat. We were in Sedona, AZ when I thought I would not eat meat one day...it was easy...veggie burger instead of meat burger (I still do this...those are yummy and less filling) and a bean burrito for dinner.
I stopped pretty quickly because I had not discussed the plan with my wife and she is not ready to try it yet...she did indulge me and we bought a couple of meals sans meat from whole foods which were are really good.
I felt a less bloated and more energized with the no meat diet, so after the holidays I think I am going to try with some preparation and planning and discussions with my wife.
Steve's book doesn't tell you what to do to get your body healthy...he just reminds you that you already know what to do...ask your body what it needs and help it out.
I can exercise about 3-4 days a weak at this point...mostly because of soreness after what feels like a long ride...so a rest in between rides feels better now. I would like to exercise every day, so I might look at taking a short walk to the park on my "rest" days, so I at least move my body a little.
I don't get sick that often, and I really have an "emergency only" rule when it come to doctors and hospitals. When I fell a little sick, I get more rest and exercise less intensely...Steve seems to follow the same advice.
I don't like the ideas of western medicine...i.e. take this pill...it will make you feel better. Nah, I'll take a nap. Steven seems to agree.
Shortly after first reading the book, I decided to cut down on my alcohol intake. Instead of a couple of beers are a couple glasses of wine after work...I ride my bike or read or watch a little TV (via DVD on Netflix or maybe PBS). I converted myself into what I like to call an "event drinker"...if there is a drinking event, such as Oktoberfest, I get my Stein and dance the Chicken Dance and have a couple of Lagers.
Drinking every day, really wears me out and saps my energy. I really noticed that lack of energy, so I wanted to change. It easier for me to change or delete a habit, if I am motivated to do so...Steve provided a little nudge to notice that after a 3-beer night it was more difficult to get up at 4 a.m. and work on my web page and then perhaps ride my bike to work.
I recently bought a bike and went through a 3-month(ish) trial with riding my bike to work in combination of using the LA Metro system. It worked, and I enjoyed the bike rides, but the overall system was cutting into my web business time.
I can drive my car to work and get home early enough to ride to the be beach and listen to the ocean for a little while (it's about 7 miles to the beach and another 2 miles alone the strand in Redondo) and then ride back in time for supper.
I love to ride my bike...I didn't realize before this year...that greater LA has seasons! I love riding after work and seeing the leaves fall from the trees and notice the longer shadows of the afternoon/evening time. I lived here since 2003 and this year was the first year I felt like I was living back in Michigan watching the leaves change color.
I even did a very short experiment with a "no meat" diet as I mentioned before (that was a couple of weeks ago now). It was very spontaneous trial and it only lasted a few days, but it was still informative.
It was a lot easier than I thought it would be to find food that didn't have meat. We were in Sedona, AZ when I thought I would not eat meat one day...it was easy...veggie burger instead of meat burger (I still do this...those are yummy and less filling) and a bean burrito for dinner.
I stopped pretty quickly because I had not discussed the plan with my wife and she is not ready to try it yet...she did indulge me and we bought a couple of meals sans meat from whole foods which were are really good.
I felt a less bloated and more energized with the no meat diet, so after the holidays I think I am going to try with some preparation and planning and discussions with my wife.
Steve's book doesn't tell you what to do to get your body healthy...he just reminds you that you already know what to do...ask your body what it needs and help it out.
I can exercise about 3-4 days a weak at this point...mostly because of soreness after what feels like a long ride...so a rest in between rides feels better now. I would like to exercise every day, so I might look at taking a short walk to the park on my "rest" days, so I at least move my body a little.
I don't get sick that often, and I really have an "emergency only" rule when it come to doctors and hospitals. When I fell a little sick, I get more rest and exercise less intensely...Steve seems to follow the same advice.
I don't like the ideas of western medicine...i.e. take this pill...it will make you feel better. Nah, I'll take a nap. Steven seems to agree.
Personal
Development for Smart People: Relationships
"Learning to communicate with love was a tremendous challenge for me. I was raised by two left-brained parents, my father being an aerospace software manager and my mother a college math professor. The dominant communication channels in our home were truth and power, with love trailing far behind. I don't recall phrases such as "I love you" being spoken much at all, and hugging was an uncommon occurrence. Consequently, by the time I reached adulthood, my communication was predominately rooted in truth and power. My ability to connect with empathy and compassion was weak; in fact, seeing others connect with love often made me feel uncomfortable"
I know what Steve is talking about when he said that his love channel was weak, and he felt uncomfortable when he saw others connect with love and hugging. I have since changed quite a bit, but when I was younger, although love was around in my home growing up...it was not expressed all that often. I'm not sure what channels were predominate in my home growing up...not a lot of truth, love or power.
I do remember that uncomfortable feeling when I was around people that were communicating with love...I felt compelled to make a joke.
I got over this, after making fun of someone in a college speech class for sharing a very painful time for her and someone she loved. I was rightly shunned and chastised...but I was also shocked.
I just didn't realize that people communicated in this manner...I didn't think she could possibly be seriously talking about this type of very painful and emotional time in her life with a classroom of people that she barely knew...I figured she had to be joking...she wasn't---->me: insert foot in mouth!.
I have since learned to really connect with the love channel...it is most likely my most dominate channel now...truth is probably second and then maybe a little power on the side.
As far as my relationships go, I'm pretty happy. My wife and get along fairly well most of the time and have a good time living together...we are really good friends and partners and we help each and talk to each other to keep the marriage strong...I have no complaints.
I am in the mist of large transition in my life, one of many, and as I transition, I intend to make many new friends that like what I like...mostly waking up to being fully consciousness less egoic type of people.
I will always be willing to help anyone that asks me to help them learn to be more present and aware...through nature, and meditation and chatting about the global shift in consciousness (heh...good web page name)...or whatever happens to be going on...but not all those folks will end up being my friends.
Sure, I want to save the world, but I"m not sure if I am ready to be best buds with the world...could you imagine if you were friends with everyone??? You would be constantly be moving people around or going to weddings and the like. :-)
Personal
Development for Smart People: Spirituality
To
me this entire book is about spirituality, so having a chapter about it
is more of a summary.
I have been reading and listening to Eckhart Tolle on DVDs and webcasts on Oprah.com...he is a very effective spiritual teacher.
Eckhart's central message is to live in the NOW and to learn to identify with the silent listener within you instead of the constant stream of words or thoughts that are going through you mind.
That probably doesn't make much sense to you, so check out Oprah.com and look for "A New Earth" with Eckhart Tolle, maybe your ready for a shift in consciousness.
Steve's afterword is awesome, so I will give him the last work in this review:
"Seek truth with open eyes. Courageously accept your discoveries and their consequences. Rid your life of falsehood, denial, and fear of what is. Make truth your ally, not your enemy. This isn't easy, but it is correct.
Share your love openly. Connect with yourself and others by tuning in to the connection that already exists. The risk of rejection is overshadowed by the rewards of loving connections. Whenever you feel disconnected, reach out and connect with another human being. Remember that you're always loved.
Fully develop your human abilities, and use your power in honorable service for the highest good of all. False power corrupts, but true power elevates. The more you resonate with truth and love, the greater you ability to wield power wisely. No one is served by your refusal to shine.
Embrace your unique path to growth. Use your intellect and emotions to guide you in the conscious pursuit of truth, love, and power. Invest in creative self-expression, service, and contribution, and you will suffer no scarcity. Your greatest gift to the world is to share who you really are.
Enjoy your incredible human journey. Accept the highs and lows as equally valuable. Recognize that your deepest sorrows reveal your greatest joys. Share your stories with others, and know that your not alone. Be grateful for your time on earth.
Live Consciously."
I have been reading and listening to Eckhart Tolle on DVDs and webcasts on Oprah.com...he is a very effective spiritual teacher.
Eckhart's central message is to live in the NOW and to learn to identify with the silent listener within you instead of the constant stream of words or thoughts that are going through you mind.
That probably doesn't make much sense to you, so check out Oprah.com and look for "A New Earth" with Eckhart Tolle, maybe your ready for a shift in consciousness.
Steve's afterword is awesome, so I will give him the last work in this review:
"Seek truth with open eyes. Courageously accept your discoveries and their consequences. Rid your life of falsehood, denial, and fear of what is. Make truth your ally, not your enemy. This isn't easy, but it is correct.
Share your love openly. Connect with yourself and others by tuning in to the connection that already exists. The risk of rejection is overshadowed by the rewards of loving connections. Whenever you feel disconnected, reach out and connect with another human being. Remember that you're always loved.
Fully develop your human abilities, and use your power in honorable service for the highest good of all. False power corrupts, but true power elevates. The more you resonate with truth and love, the greater you ability to wield power wisely. No one is served by your refusal to shine.
Embrace your unique path to growth. Use your intellect and emotions to guide you in the conscious pursuit of truth, love, and power. Invest in creative self-expression, service, and contribution, and you will suffer no scarcity. Your greatest gift to the world is to share who you really are.
Enjoy your incredible human journey. Accept the highs and lows as equally valuable. Recognize that your deepest sorrows reveal your greatest joys. Share your stories with others, and know that your not alone. Be grateful for your time on earth.
Live Consciously."
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